Here goes
I'm walking past all our old hangout places.
Now, feels like it wasn't me. Like it was another person.
Huge chunks of emotions, now are just fleeting moments.
I'm not looking for a replacement. I'm looking to just.. feel.
No I'm not stronger, better, hotter.
Clothes, image, food, money, shoes, parents, responsibility, achievements, friends.
Stuff that used to mean. Stuff that should mean.
I feel empty, like a shell.
I can put the past behind, I can't ignore its effects.
I know it's not what I do, or where I am.
It's me, me, me. All inside of me.
It's all so... uninspiring.
Movies where the people I'm with bawl their hearts out watching, I feel.. nothing.
They say dreams are a privilege for those with opportunities..
I have so many opportunities
Yet so few dreams.
I'm fine, more than fine.
For I can make myself think a certain way, behave the way I should.
If only I could make myself feel how I want to.
Like I said, a shell.
I'm sorry I'm such a horribly self-centred daughter/friend/person.
But the emptiness drowns, really.
Sometimes I think unconsciously, I choose to stay down.
Knowing what's out there, I've simply retreated.
I just loved. that's all I did.
That's all I hope now I hadn't done.
