Wednesday, 3 September 2008

1. nothing devastating is going to happen. just deal. stop living in fear. people come, peole go.
2. smile coz you deserve to. to be happy, to be loved, to be accepted.
3. you are dependent on yourself. do something, darn it.
4. learn to let go, pains dont have to be relived. pictures can be hidden, bridges can be burnt.
5. its not the body's fault. stop punishing it already.
6. you have it, just.. stop looking, stop worrying. just be.

Labels: personal, very

The Winter Season Arrived on 09:22;

Thursday, 21 August 2008

I'm at crossroads now.
On one hand, the desire to finish university quickly, and "get on with life" already.

On the other, time to just.. be. away from it all, to find out who I am, why I'm so unsettled.

Going with the flow makes me sad, because the person I am.. I don't like. And I want things to change.

Much needed gap year?

Or impulsive decision AGAIN?

The Winter Season Arrived on 08:33;

Friday, 15 August 2008

Change of template: weeeh. I’ve always wanted something less bland, but just never knew how to go about changing html codes and stuff. Well, I still don’t. but there are pre-designed templates out there, so here we go: my own cut-and-paste J

Roger Federer lost!!! To something something Blake! Like wtf.. I didn’t have to patience to watch the entire game (tennis is so slooooow) but from the little I saw, wah what happened to Federer la? Either he’s lost form, or this blake dude just played the match of his life..
Tennis men’s singles is like cursed. No top 5 player has won the Olympic gold since 88.. aiyo. And Serena Williams crashed out from the singles too (another game I didn’t have the patience to watch..). heartbreaking la.

Oooh I’ve just tried these apple crisps from green tree. The ingredient list boast fresh fuji apples and… maybe traces of sulphite? Hehe.. I guess what this means is that the crisps are not fried and not preserved, simply cut from apples and dried.
I’ve tasted them, quite good! At 100 calories per 25 g, quite guilt free too.

The downside: damn expensive. At more than RM6 per 25g can, it makes you wonder if : its so free of everything, shouldn’t it cost less?
Jusco was selling it at a discount, but I don’t have a jusco card… “shrugs”

I’m currently on the lookout for stuff that I can munch on when I’m bored, so I wont have to deprive myself and go on binges later .. seaweed, oat cookies, mint.

It’ll all pay off….

I feel like getting a tattoo, more piercings, more laser treatments on my skin, curling my hair, dye-ing my hair, multiple shopping trips. And sometimes I do stop to wonder: do I want these things genuinely, or to cover up for the inadequacies I feel inside? Is this my own way of solving problems? And what if I run out of cash to do these stuff (which I am).. where do I run then? Oh well.

The Winter Season Arrived on 00:14;

Thursday, 7 August 2008

I have seen peace. I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.

I have seen birth. I have seen death.
Lived to see a lover's final breath.
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel a fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.
You're a friend.

You and I have lived through many things.
I'll hold on to your heart.
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart.

I have seen fear. I have seen faith.
Seen the look of anger on your face.
And if you want to talk about what will be,
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
Once again.
Cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.

The Winter Season Arrived on 07:35;

Friday, 1 August 2008

Hehehe. I lost: 1.4 kg this one week.

I think it's cause aside from watching my food (with a few exceptions), I stepped up my cardio intensity.

I'm reminded of why I could go to the gym so diligently last year. Working out for me is simply a matter of building momentum: once you start, it's easy to keep going. But stop and it's so hard to start again. Because the rush of endorphins, the top-of-the-world feeling, is easily forgotten. All one remembers is the time spent, the sweat, the mental strength of pushing yourself when the stop button is very well within reach.

I tried this drink recently (during one of my "exception" moments :)) It's basically just iced milo with liberal amounts of powdered milo on top. It was delicious! the powdered milo, when mixed with liquid, crystallizes and you get little lumps of crunchy yummyness.

Time passes by fast at work when I'm busy. I think even when I have not much to do, just being in the office calms me. I stop over-analysing my life, I stop getting paranoid about stuff. what will be will be. I'll get through it.

I was stuck in a rut for pretty much the whole first-year, now looking back, I was just scared. I didn't know who I was, where I stood. And truth is, I still don't. But, at least, I'll move. I'm moving.

The Winter Season Arrived on 09:10;

Sunday, 27 July 2008

I can't upload any pics online. mildly annoying.
this trying to lose weight thing right, goes beyond just numbers and measurements.
It's deeper.
It's my believe that things would be better, if only i were this weight and not that.
stupid i know. i cant stop still.
but when i do reach there, what if things aren't?
well at least i know i've tried, there wouldn't be any more what ifs.

The Winter Season Arrived on 07:06;

Friday, 25 July 2008

Can’t read what’s I’m writing now as I’m at the office, i delibrately set the font small : p
Don’t want to get caught blogging
There’s nothing I can do now anyway

So. My weight loss plans.
I’m not going to be that haphazard anymore. I’m going to chart what I’m doing and eating, and match that to my results (if any) to find out what I’m doing right or wrong.
I found out that I lost 3kgs the last time I weighed myself, which was last week.
Today’s the moment of truth again, haha

Every Friday is casual day here, so we get to wear jeans and t-shirt, I’m wearing my tightest pair of jeans every week, and see if it gets progressively loose.

I’m not obsessed or anything la, though I find all this quite fun, actually.
And I’ve recently started joining the fitness first exercise classes (thanks Sherlene!)

So.. dah 3kg. Quite the excited to see how much, if any, weight I’ve lost.

I still have a long way to go I know, (I wanna loose about 10- 12kgs), but every little step counts right?

Wish me luck!

Oh btw, the unagi at mid-valley’soh sushi is super super nice… not slimy at all. Must try must try. the best i've had.

And pavillion’s forever 21 is AMAZING. It’s like every little girl’s toyland. They even have separate “rooms” for accessories, lingerie, etc. just spent my lunchhour there. Shall lose weight and save money first before buying.
(I’m on this very noble plan to not spend so much money, I’m gonna spend bout half my lunch money (I’m assuming it’s bout 10 ringgit a day), and save the rest for shopping. Not much la, but still better than nothing right? And I’ll treasure thest uff I buy

Sucks to type and not be able to see what I’m typing

The Winter Season Arrived on 00:19;